Just one word....

YYYYYEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A promise broken...

I know, I know ... I'm sorry! I promised to blog last night, but the day just ran away with me (see below) and I ended up falling asleep instead. So apologies ... but here's the weekend update, 24-hours late!

I'll start with Friday evening, which was our Mettle and RE:fresh social, a live bands night in the Old School Rooms. And it was great!

The best count suggests there were well over a hundred teenagers there, and the evening went off without any major incident (other than one guy knocking a tooth seriously loose during a very exuberent moshing session!). Everyone was really well behaved, there was no sign of any alcohol and they really restored my faith in the RE:fresh crowd.
As for the bands themselves, they were all tremendous! Chaos Remains (pictured) is a heavy rock band made up entirely of St Mikes Youth members, and they headlined with a tremendous, high energy, high talent set of about eight songs... all their own work. I've said before that I think these guys may have a future, but Friday night just convinced me even further!

Not to be outdone, Destructive Mind (the youngest band on show with four guys from Year 8), Cobweb in the Corner and Sloppy Joe all did themselves justice and added a lot of talent and showmanship to the evening.

On top of that, of course, was the debut of my own band, Autumn's Child (pictured). We were thrown together VERY recently and only had two proper practices before the event. On top of that, the music we played was very different to anything else on show, as it's mostly folk in it's approach (not really a surprise if you know me). So with those things considered, the fact that we had some really positive feedback is remarkable! We did two songs, "Polly" and "Iris" (must move away from girls' names at some point!) and were really well received. Our singer, Clare, was really nervous but sang beautifully, and Ruth (violin), Tom (bass) and Ali (drums) also did themselves proud. And I was so proud, too. I've vaguely been in bands in the past, but never performing the sort of music that I like. With a bit more practice, I think we could do some more stuff... nothing major like gigs, but we'll certainly be looking out for the next church talent show!

This sort of event always challenges my thinking, because it wasn't designed to be overtly evangelistic, or even Christian, in its approach. All I'm trying to do with stuff like this is let the young people have a good time courtesy of the church. I'm sure it works, giving them a good experience of church, and even though we may never see the results, who knows what seeds it sows for the future?

It took hours to clear up, but it was well worth all the effort and I'm already starting to think about the next one!

Saturday was almost entirely taken up by the wedding of Ben Slater and Wiz Sammons, one of the curates at church and a close colleague. I was in the band, so more guitar playing and literally bleeding fingers, but, considering I'm not a huge fan of weddings, I have to say it was a lovely day. Wiz looked glorious and it was a really nice day. Please do pray for them... I know from experience that balancing a marriage and a ministry can be a real challenge, and you can't have enough support! They're a lovely couple, and God has so clearly put them together. It's always a joy to be a part of something like that!

Tomorrow's a big day. A bank holiday (lovely) but featuring the biggest football match in Derby County FC's history... the play-off final against West Brom, with the winner taking their place in the Premiership next year. It's worth an estimated £60 million to the winners, and extreme heartbreak for the losers.

I'm very nervous, and have a bad feeling it may not be our day. If you don't understand football, I'm sorry. If you do, you'll know exactly what I'm going through...

This week is half-term, which I really need! It's the end of the notorious Term 5 (I've survived for another year) and I seriously need to recharge my metaphorical batteries. It looks quiet-ish... we're off to stay with Mum and Dad for a couple of days and then not much else. Please pray that it stays that way and that God gives Laura and I the rest that I believe we so richly deserve.

God bless x

Watch this space!

Loads to tell you, but no time!

I PROMISE I'll post this evening. Watch this space!

How to relax in three easy steps...?

Time off is so easy to waste, isn't it?

My day off is a nice concept, but it doesn't really work for me, for a number of reasons. First of all, it's so changeable. In theory it's meant to be Monday teatime to Tuesday teatime, like it is today. Occasionally, it's all day Tuesday. But it doesn't work, and here's why:

I love my job, and I love being around people. All the youthwork manuals say that I have to have a clear 24-hours with no prep and no contact. I'm sure it is the best thing to do for most people, but the problem is, I get bored just sat at home doing nothing all day, so to impose this model of time off on me actually feels quite damaging. What happens is that I sit at home stewing about how I'm not supposed to be doing any work and worrying about all the stuff that has to be done. I get frustrated then by not doing anything, so by the time Laura gets home from work, I'm in a foul mood and we usually end up falling out.

So I'm in the process of rethinking how I do time off. Far more important to me is having a couple of hours off in the afternoon (particularly if I'm working the evening). I need a couple of hours, 2.00pm-4.00pm, to myself in the afternoon to chill, think and maybe snooze. That time is far more important than this sacred one full day off.

I DO need to make sure I'm spending enough time with Laura, of course, so I have to have a minimum of two evenings a week at home (those days I'll forfeit my afternoon time!).

So I think I'm going to focus on doing those things, just working Saturday mornings and taking the rest of the day as standby time, and using one day a week to be non-office based, making a conscious effort not to do prep or admin stuff, but allowing myself to spend time with the teenagers if the opportunity arises. After all, that's my passion, that's what's in my heart and that's what gives me energy!

It's my "day off" today. Last night was a night off. Laura and I spent it watching Eragon, which my friend Lucy (above) has been raving about for weeks. It's a physical pain that I can never get those two hours of my life back now that I've wasted them horribly. Sorry, Luce! I just didn't think it was very good!

Anyway, I'm off to do some work... but only of the fun kind!

Weekend Update!

I rarely have time to post at weekends, so Monday morning tends to bring a bucket of guilt for not having kept you all updated! Anyhow, here is comes:

Saturday
Had a pretty quiet morning, even though I should have been writing a sermon ... are you noticing a theme? I went for a long walk with Laura and Lucky and then the wife and I headed to Sainsbury's for brunch - an all-day breakfast that made me feel a bit ill!

Saturday afternoon brought cricket, and another decent performance. I won't go into as much detail as last week (I had complaints about it being a bit boring...), but I'll just tell those that are interested that I grabbed another three wickets and bowled under pressure at the end as we succesfully defended our meagre 121 all out (to which my contribution was a third-ball duck... no real change there!). One other story to tell from cricket... anyone who knows me will confirm that I am almost attached to my mobile phone. I was denied a clear-cut wicket on Saturday by a young square leg umpire because he was busy sending a text and wasn't watching. Ironic that I was so angry!

I spent Saturday evening working, which I'd rather not have done, but it was my own fault for not writing the talk for Sunday morning earlier in the week! It was a late night, hunched over my desk burning the midnight oil!

Sunday
So it was off to Christ the King (our sister church) on Sunday morning to speak at all-age worship. Once again, I took a selection of the teenagers with me (Emily, Jeni and Naomi) and they were so supportive! The talk was on "being ready for Jesus' return" and went pretty well, I think.

Lunch at the in-laws followed before the termy stress-fest that is the Youth Service...
... which was a phenominal success! It was on the subject of Sex and Sexuality, and had been a real team effort between the leaders and the young people. It was great to see young people who aren't usually involved up the front (take a bow Lara, Becky, Lucy, Cat etc), which Emily and Ben stole the show with their incredibly funny drama. The music was excellent, Naomi and Kelly led with great confidence, but the biggest shout-out goes to Dan Crockford, a Mettle leader who had chosen the topic of sex for his first ever sermon. And he was awesome... one of the young people commented that she thought it was the best talk on sex she had ever heard... and I think I agree with her!

Today
The day after a Youth Service generally goes one way or the other for me... I'm either high as a kite or down in the doldrums. Today, I've set about proving that there are exceptions to every rule! I'm just "ok"... been feeling like that a lot lately! Had a staff meeting which was fine, and fhcu which is always great, but I guess I could do with a lift.

A final thought... the topic of accountability keeps popping up for me at the moment, and I'm not sure why because I have quite a lot of it set up for myself. I keep recognising places that are seriously lacking in it, and I wonder whether God is calling me to challenge this? Pray for discernment... PLEASE!

A day with my new boss!

Today saw the St Michael's Church Core Staff Team (Julie Bradley, Wiz Sammons, Karen Needham and me) travel to Chieveley to spend the day with Si Jones, who will be joining us as Team Rector in the summer... and I've come back SO EXCITED!
Put simply, the guy is absolute quality and I still can't quite believe he's coming to join us! I didn't dare pray for such an ideal guy. I think he'll be brilliant here... just what we need. I'm not going to say too much about the things we talked about, mostly because I think you should hear it all from him and get to know him for yourselves, but suffice to say he's going to fit in well and doubtless bring some great new ideas with him too. Roll on the summer!

That said, I have to comment here that I'm so proud of the way those of us still here have coped since David Widdows' departure. I'm the first to admit that it hit me hard, and I struggled at first without him, but life has indeed gone on, and gone on well. We should ALL be very proud of our church.

That's all I've had time to do today, despite having a mountain of other stuff to get through. Tomorrow, then, will be busy as you like... a sermon to write for Christ the King's all-age worship on Sunday, various phone calls and emails to catch up on, teaching at Youth Alpha and then RE:fresh. Busy busy busy (and I love it like that!).

CATH!

Oh, by the way, Cath Hetherington was appointed as Youth and Children's Ministry Assistant for next year on Friday.

And I seriously couldn't be more thrilled and excited! Watch this space ... I think you'll hear a lot about her doing great things!

Talented folk!

I'm actually really excited about the Kate Rusby song that our random group of musicians are going to perform at the next band night.
Last night, after an excellent Youth Service music practice, Clare, Ruth, Tom and I stayed behind to have a first run through of Polly, the song we're planning to perform. And it sounded so much better than I thought it would! It's basically a folk song, which is VERY different to anything that's been done at a RE:fresh band night in the past, so we're hoping that people will respect it... I think they will, and that will hopefully open the door to other types of music in the future. We'll see.

But the three guys last night showed what fantastic musicians they are. Clare, who's singing, was worried last week that she "wouldn't be able to sing it as well as Kate Rusby", but she sang it beautifully and the difference isn't as big as you might have thought. Ruth was given my scrawled down version of the violin part just a couple of hours earlier, and yet played it flawlessly, while Tom didn't have any music at all for the bass part, but worked it out on his own and sounded great! Such a lot of talent!

Oh, one more word for Clare: congratulations, welcome to the world of drivers!

Today's a day off, a full, 24-hour, day off, which is, frankly, a miracle. I've spent the morning taking the dog for a VERY long walk, playing with iTunes and listening to some music, and I'm looking forward to spending the night with Laura and bump in front of the telly (still working on those photos by the way... don't tell her!).

Strange weekends and full weeks

That about sums it up really! The weekend was... odd. Not bad, just odd.

I was expecting to play cricket and then go to my friend Karen's birthday party in the evening, taping the Derby play-off match and watching it later.

Cricket was cancelled, which I was gutted about after last week, but at least it did allow me to go to another friend, Shelley's, birthday party in the afternoon.

So I basically hopped from one birthday to the other, and managed to squeeze in the Rams match beforehand too. It was good, it just felt slightly surreal. And birthday parties are really tiring, I think!

Sunday was strange as well. I led RS2 in the morning, and it went really well, but I left my mobile phone at home and didn't know where it was, so I felt really uncomfortable all morning... those who know me will know that I'm surgically attached to my phone and so will understand why! It felt... weird. And then I was in a really odd mood all afternoon. I'm not sure why! Mettle in the evening was great though, and lifted my spirits big-time.

This week has started with a band. Staff meeting, fhcu and a prayer-walk with a friend in the day yesterday, plus DCC (surprisingly interesting) then beer with my mate Murray in the evening.

Today has brought a mixture of despair and joy, stress and happiness and work and... well, just work actually. I'm feeling quite up and down. Do pray for me!

We have a Youth Service this Sunday and a torrent of practices for it tonight in Mettle groups. They're meeting altogether before splitting off to prepare stuff, and it's the first time we've done it like this. I'm in charge of music, which is shaping up quite nicely, but do pray it goes well. It's an attempt to get the three groups working together, so I really hope it works!

Later on tonight, Clare, Ruth, Tom and I are having a practice of our song(s?) for the Band Night. I'm already feeling nervous about it all, and I'm sure they are too.

Laura's bump is progressing quite well... she's very proud if it, which is really nice to see. She bought some maternity clothes the other day which are very practical and mildly amusing. I'll try to sneak a photo on here without her noticing!

That's a very bitty entry ... sorry! But it sort of sums up how I'm feeling at the moment... Not bad, not great, just "bitty".

Thanks for reading!

A minor miracle

Here's why I believe in a God of miracles today:

It was Rock Solid last night, it was the first one I've done since the Easter Holidays, I was already tired and stressed out and needing to properly chill out.

The miracle? I really enjoyed myself!

Trevor has done such a great job with Rock Solid. I decided to change it to an open youth club style for 11-14s a while ago, and I know he wasn't entirely convinced it was the right move. But the person that Trevor is meant that I could count on his full support and energy in trying to make it work. It has, and that's down to Trevor's hard work rather than any inspired idea on my part. I've said it before, but I'll make no apology for saying it again: the guy is seriously gold-dust. We're so blessed to have him staying for another year!

Today there's a Mix Leaders meeting and interviews for next year's second Youth Ministry Assistant. Tonight brings Youth Alpha Active, RE:fresh and then hopefully a well-deserved pint.

Please pray for Laura, she's really tired. I think it comes from carrying another human being around inside you! I'm so proud of her though... she's coping really well!

Preparing for goodbyes...

I spent Bank Holiday Monday with the five guys who are leaving St Mikes Youth in July.

That might not sound like such a big deal... but it was to me. Kelly, Laura, Rosie, Alistair and Claire have been a fundamental, massive, important part of the start of Mettle, and when they go off this Summer, I'm going to miss them terribly. I'm not good at endings, and this one's going to be hard. They're the first group that I've felt like I'm friends with as well... it's been such a pleasure.

So as I've been thinking about them going, I've been subconciously withdrawing from them emotionally. It's natural that my focus should be starting to shift towards those that will be with us next year, but I've been going further than that, and it's been too far. I think I've just not wanted to to get hurt.

So on Monday, I made a conscious descision to spend the day with them. Not working as such, just hanging out. And I'm so glad I did, because we all had a great day! We had a (large) lunch at Frankie and Benny's and then went ten-pin bowling. Nothing spectacular, just a good fun day that reminded me why I love these guys so much, and showed me that, while it will still hurt when they leave and no doubt there will be lots of tears, this is something I can do. And that I can enjoy them while they are still around.

By the way, I came sixth out of seven at bowling. The one person I beat? Trevor...

NOT making a fool of myself!

Sorry for the lack of posts over the last couple of days... my computer's been playing up again. It may be time for a new laptop (note to parents: that's a hint for my nexy birthday!).

Where did I leave it? From Saturday lunchtime onwards then. Despite not having played cricket since September, I somehow managed to NOT make a fool of myself. Fortunately, I my limited batting skills weren't required as we made 185-8, but when we fielded I came into my own. I bowled first-change and took 3-42 off nine overs, which I was pretty happy with! A touch expensive, perhaps, but one of my overs cost me 22 so when you take that one out it's a pretty tight spell. And three wickets! I've never been a big wicket-taker, so three in the first game is a pretty good start to the season. All classic off-spinner's dismissals, too: a stumping, a caught-and-bowled and (my favourite) one that turned through the gate and bowled him! Happy days! I hope the rest of the season goes as well!

Anyway, enough cricket chat (apologies to those that don't love/understand the game!). I'll talk about Youth Ministry now, since that is the point of this blog...

Sunday was a mad day. I started iff by playing the piano at the 10.30am service, then straight into RS2, where I was leading the second session of a three-week look at Paul. The first session was excellent, and next week's looks good too, but this one wasn't up to the usual YFC standards, so I had to do quite a lot of work to it to make it work. In the end, it went ok, I think.

Sunday evening, of course, brought the long-dreaded talk at the Mix. I can honestly say I have NEVER wrestled with a talk like I wrestled with this one. It was a joint effort with Lorna Jopson from SYWM, but I struggled so much with writing my two slots. The way I work on talks is to write and write and write around the subject (in this case, Church) and wait for inspiration to hit. It's normally not a problem, but this time it just wouldn't come. I finally got some of my ideas on Friday afternoon, a few more on Saturday and even a couple in the shower on Sunday morning. Scarily late!

So I arrived at The Mix having cried about it (a lot), shouted at it, got infuriated with it, given up on it, tried again, written and re-written it and I was still not sure that it was what God wanted me to say. I was a bit of a wreck to be honest.

But how often does God work through our wrecks? He so blessed the work I had put in, because I think the talk went really well! It turns out, I think, that it was EXACTLY what he wanted me to say... just shows how he's in control even when we can't feel him. I ended up talking about hugging strangers by mistake, a bit of cricket (surprise!) and ... belly buttons, actually. But as far as I can tell, it was funny when it was meant to be, touching when it was meant to be and challenging when it was meant to be. I couldn't have dared to pray for better.

One more thing, on that... the young people themselves were so supportive. Clare, Jeni, Emily and Amy spent some time praying for me before the thing started, and they'd even made a banner with an ant on it! They cheered me when I started and gave me the confidence to be myself on stage. I couldn't have done it without their support.

Which makes me think... so often this ministry goes best when it's two-way. I'm a strong believer in being yourself with young people and telling them when you're struggling. And then they want to minister to you! I'm sure I learn more about God from them than they do from me...

Almost there...

... on two counts.

1) My talk for the Mix is ... well, I was going to say "almost finished" but I think I'm going to plump for "taking shape nicely". The inspiration that I have been so desperate for finally hit yesterday afternoon after a lot of panicking and no few tears of frustration.

Actually, I was talking to my friend Clare last night about how God so often works through the tears. I think I needed to realise that I actually COULDN'T do it on my own. Once I'd done that, I gave it up to him and BAM! Inspiration hits. Co-incidence? I think probably not.

Wickwar Cricket Club

2) The cricket season starts for me in about two hours. I am, like my talk for the Mix, horribly underprepared. I haven't made it to a single practice and so have barely touched a bat or ball since the end of last season (so, about September!). There's a strong chance I'll make a bit of a plonker of myself today. I'm just praying that somehow, my body remembers how to do these things!

Last night was another succesful night, work-wise. The new Youth Alpha Active course (for 11-14s) was on at tea-time, and we did session three, "How Can I Be Sure Of My Faith?". It's always a really good session, and this time was no exception. There is a really nice atmosphere at this group, and quite a buzz about the Weekend Away in June.

Just a word, too, for the Young Leaders - Ruth (middle), James (top) and Emma (bottom). These guys are only 15 or 16 years old themselves, yet they're leading small group discussions for 11-14 year olds on a Youth Alpha course, and what's more, they're doing it with confidence, style and enthusiasm. I don't think I could have done that at their age. Fair play!

And also for Cath (above). Cath may be coming to work with me next year, but in the meantime she is co-leading the Youth Alpha course with Trevor and I. Last night she did her first ever talk for this age group, and did a brilliant job. She has a lot of potential... watch this space!

RE:fresh was also great... no time left to write too much about that, but I'll say this: the atmosphere was great again, and the brand new Xbox 360 (a gift, unbelievably!) was a big hit.

Finally on this mammoth blog-entry, an update on Zac. He is now at home with Rachael and Dean and it turns out he has viral gastro-enteritis (no idea if that's how you spell it or not!). He still isn't quite right, but at least we know what the problem is, and he is improving. Thank you all so much for your prayers.

Off to make a fool of myself at cricket!

A day off!

A proper one! No work to be done ALL DAY today. I've almost forgotten what this feels like.

I'm heading over to Nailsea in a bit to spend some time with my mate Mark and help him build his website, and then coming home to spend the evening with Laura ... the highlight of which should be the first episode of the new season of "Hustle", which I'm very excited about!

Zac is still in hospital and the doctors really don't know what is wrong ... he can't keep anything down and is very dehydrated. He may have to be fed through a tube. PLEASE keep praying.

Mettle Group A

Well, it rocked, as usual! We were looking at forgiveness and despite the fact that I departed almost entirely from the prepared material, I think the point that "we are a forgiven people, and therefore need to be a forgiving people" really came across. You know when you have nights when you try things and they just take off? Yeah, good night for that!

In addition, the video for The Mix (I'll explain later!) went down a storm, AND we were treated to an impromptu concert by Emily Feltham aka the lost member of thebandwithnoname. All slightly bizzare... but that's why we love it!

Stupid Ant!

Yeah, I'm not too bright. And I don't listen.

So today wasn't a scan, it was just a regular appointment. So we have to wait on tenterhooks for another FOUR WEEKS to find out for definite that our baby is a girl. Which she is. We did get to hear the heartbeat today, which was very cool.

Mettle Group A tonight. Always good!

Keep praying for baby Zac!

So... boy or girl???

So we have our 16-week scan today. I don't know how these things work... when can one tell whether it's a boy or a girl? To be honest, it makes no difference (mostly because I'm pretty sure already that she's a girl). I'll keep you informed. Laura doesn't want to find out, but I won't be able to resist, and she won't be able to bear it if I know and she doesn't!

On the baby subject, please pray for Zac (my nephew) who is a bit poorly and spent last night in hospital. Please pray for my sister (his mum) Rachael and her partner Dean, because obviously they're a bit worried about him.

And, before you ask, no, my talk for The Mix on Sunday STILL isn't finished! I'm just teetering around the edge of panic over it.

It WAS busy...

... but not quite for the reasons I thought.

I ended up spending most of the day trying to help struggling people. I just hope God has used me with them. I sort of feel like he has done! I have a deep desire to help young people when they're having a rough time.

Please pray especially for one friend (she knows who she is) who's REALLY struggling. She's so strong with it though, and I'm very, very proud of her.

Busy day ahead

Tuesday used to be my day off. How times have changed! Here's my day:

9.00am - Office, admin stuff
10.00am - One-to-One with Kelly
11.00am - Meeting with Dan Jones (Diocesan Youth Officer)
12.30pm - Lunch (hopefully!)
1.00pm - PBF (Lunchtime Club at Filton High)
2.00pm - Youth Alpha planning meeting with Cath Hetherington
3.30pm - Youth Alpha small group planning with Ruth Hepburn
4.30pm - Off for a couple of hours!
7.00pm - Mettle Youth Alpha + group
9.30pm - Home. Beer. Bed.

Little wonder I'm tired! Tomorrow will be almost as busy too... Day off Thursday - although I'm going over to Mark's to help him with the marketing for his Youth Ministry.

A young person the other day said, "but you must get loads of days off ... you've got nothing to do all day". If only they knew!